A Niche Blog, But Make it Personal

This was supposed to be just a "tech blog," but the truth is, for me, I'm tired of doing what everyone else does, it's time to do it my way, like Frank (Sinatra).

A couple of weeks ago, a good friend of mine asked me to really consider why it’s been SO incredibly hard to post tutorials or finish a blog post about genuinely helpful tech tools and how regular humans can actually use them.

I thought about it for a while (honestly, I still am) and what keeps popping up is that there’s just no way for me to separate my life into neat little factions, boxes that I think I’m “supposed” to fit in. The “niche” life doesn’t suit me.

Created by Me Using ChatGPT 4o ImageGen

PSST—If you’re worried I’m not going to write about tech anymore, never fear. I'll still show you a bunch of the cool tools I find. But I'm done pretending that my life neatly separates into “tech me” and “real me.”

I spent an incredible amount of my life showing up in spaces where I felt I had to pretend. I felt I had to be anything but me. I monitored my facial expressions, body language, and words.

That exhaustion steals the joy from learning and creating.

It steals the joy from just being me—from just existing.

But who am “I”, really?

Well, ChatGPT thinks if I were an action figure hero, I’d be “The Synthesizer,” and honestly, I kinda like it.

Created by ChatGPT 4o ImageGen with a prompt instructing it to create an action figure based on everything it knew and had stored in memory about me.

I'm obsessed with learning.

I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t want to know everything about everything. Not just about topics like tech or space or mental health, but about what drives people, about philosophy, spirituality, our purpose, what comes after us, and just about anything in between.

I don’t like to be told what to think or believe. I want to do my own research and figure it out myself. And then research it again, look for more sources, and so on.

So, I’m regularly doing deep research on topics like powerful people in Chat and then, I feed them to NotebookLM to create a podcast so I can listen to their background and story.

Here’s a NotebookLM podcast that I made about Peter Thiel, if you’re interested. Thiel’s a big name in tech and a long-time backer of JD Vance who I recently wanted to learn more about; I made this about 2 weeks ago.

My brain finds patterns without trying.

Dots connect wherever I put my attention, even when I wish they wouldn’t. I am super interested in systems, how they connect, and what drives us to connect them in the ways that we do. Because of this, I’m an idea generator …sometimes to a fault. I tend to be a connector of information and people, a conduit for information that otherwise is inaccessible, overly technical, or even gatekept.

I’m incredibly passionate about the things I believe in.

Injustices can fire me up faster than just about anything else. I am genuinely concerned about things like the future of our society and democracy. AND, I try to stay hopeful. We have to fight for our next generation to have a good life—even when it’s confusing and hard—because what other choice do we have?

Sometimes, I forget that other people exist.

I get so hyper-focused on the things I’m interested in or doing at the time. I’ll lose myself to creating, wandering around outside, listening to music, starting random projects, and sometimes just existing. It’s something I’m working hard on because it’s important to me to make sure people know I think about and care about them.

I’m wordy.

I like to explain things, often more than needed.

But, if you’re reading this, is that a surprise to you?

I’ve spent my entire life trying to get people to understand me and my perspective, and sometimes I forget that they already do.

To try to ease the burden of making others read every single detail that I must explain, I regularly use Goblin.Tools' Formalizer feature to “unwaffle” my writing, in personal and professional spheres alike.

I crack myself up more than I like to admit.

This timeline is wild, and I don’t know how to live through the drama and the trauma of just existing without laughing—every day.

I channel my chaotic energy into amateur political cartoons, memes, and humorous illustrations, mostly for my own entertainment (my spouse says that I’m creating content for the future—but I guess I’d have to share them, then, too?)

I spontaneously perform my own reading on the news and “mean tweets” because when you scream into the abyss on X, sometimes the bots come for you—and it’s mildly hilarious.

Created by me using ideogram and GPT 4o ImageGen

I don’t want to play the game or perform.

I regularly consider being a creator to sustain income and focus on things that matter most to me but often don’t pay a sustainable living (if at all). But whenever I make a plan and try to follow through, I stall.

Because pretending drains me.

I don’t want sharing information to become all about me. I don’t want to be a static expert. I don’t want to use a certain tone or writing style or stay focused only on one topic. I refuse to schedule my life around algorithm-driven engagement or artificial interactions to boost followers.

It feels fake, it feels flawed, and mostly—it feels in authentic, something wildly important to me.

I haven’t figured out why I’m here just yet.

I have this deep connection to something bigger than myself, something bigger than all of us. I’m pretty sure I’ve always had this sense, although memory can betray us so who knows.

But, I think there’s genuinely a reason for it all, and as much as I want to figure out what it is, as caught up as I can get in the learning and planning and analyzing and doing, I have faith that whatever we’re supposed to be doing, we get closer to figuring it out when we just trust.

When we just create.

When we just love.

When we just do.

When we’re just us.

And when if I grow up, that’s all I just want to be.

Just me.

And maybe, you can be just you.

Idealistic? I know.

Made with Midjourney v7 using Model trained by BJ Hart

But at the end of the day, how do we build anything real if we’re all pretending?

What becomes of the creation of community, if it’s just for show?

How do we hold on to common humanity if we’re all just playing games behind screens, forgetting what it feels like to sit with a human, to breathe with them, to play, to create?

I don’t want to find out what happens if we lose our connection to ourselves and others.

I don’t want to be a part of it, either.

So, I guess I won’t.

Anyway, hi. I missed you guys!

Let’s figure it out together—all the things. And not on a schedule, because life doesn’t work that way. We can’t only learn about ONE part of existing and become the whole humans we need to be to make a difference.

<3

Oh hey, speaking of things that are important and not tech tutorials. I wrote a commentary article for the Maryland Forward Party last week. I’d love if you could check it out. The formatting isn’t my favorite, but what’s a girl to do.

You can find it here:
https://www.marylandforwardparty.com/2025_-_blog_-_if_not_us_then_who